An integral change has happened. Some of what I was talking about in the previous post, but in visiting with my cousin and his girlfriend, my brain clicked and went aha! ‘Erin,’ it told me, ‘it’s go time.’ And away I started. Maybe it took getting sick (again), working two days of doubles and spending time with my family, but suddenly I started to get things accomplished. My cousin (who is no stranger to the extreme being in the National Guard and having completed a tour in Iraq) asked me ‘So what got you interested in the Peace Corps?’ As I answered with the stock answer I’ve been giving everyone, the true excitement is started to well up from deep within. The kind I would have walking down various streets amongst cities I fell in love with. The best I can describe it is, butterflies floating around and just bouncing around waiting to fly out of your mouth as your words and gestures of true happiness. The feeling that you know you’re doing exactly what you should be doing at that exact moment. And that is what has changed.
Maybe it’s that in taking a few of the trips that I’ve been lucky to go on thus far, I realize how much CAN get done in a short amount of time, so I’m not too worried. Same goes for packing, I won’t be able to bring everything, so again, eh not really worried about it because it’ll all work out anyway. One roadblock I’m coming up against….I can’t find my two big suitcases. Shoot. I have this visual of packing and physically placing things inside my big black rolling suitcase and without that, I’m a bit stuck. It’s helping me get mentally prepared though and that’s half the battle. I’m looking around and realizing how my perspectives are on the verge of changing. This will no longer be my home. I’ll be a big kid, with a (real) job, and my own place…..in another country. I’m hoping to treat this as a warm up for a career abroad. These things are finally starting to hit during this final countdown. This time next week, I’ll be in orientation. I’ll be meeting a new family, my new family. Not that it will replace anyone from home, but this crazy adventure we’re about to embark on together will bind us in ways that no one else will be able to understand.
And I can’t wait.