Part I: 4:36 AM

Part I of a two, maybe threeish part series, still deciding. It sounds throughly depressing, don’t worry, there’s an eventual happy ending (ish).

4:36 AM, April 22, 2011 my life changed forever. ‘What brought this change on?’ you might be pondering to yourself. Well, Thailand and I got into our first big, knock-down, drag-out, ear-splitting decibel fight. We’ve had some misunderstandings before, many since I’ve arrived at site and becoming totally and utterly immersed (I thought I was before, that was a joke). But those dalliances felt like nothing in comparison to this. The reason for this tirade? Well, at said time, for what else but the monk ordination that has been completely consuming all household activities lately, music suitable for an earthquake came blasting out of the speakers that were about 15 feet from my room. It was awesome.

After trying to avoid the very obvious fact that there was not a snowball’s chance in hell that I would be able to fall back to sleep, I got up and went to ask the very obvious and simple question of, why? (In reality, it was more like a list of swear words because I was pissed, but lets face it, it’s probably not a good idea for me to know those kinds of words in Thai, way too much of a temptation) After my cousin failed to answer my question, I stormed back to my room in a rage.

Now here’s an explanation on my part, normally I am an extremely laid back, go with the flow kind of gal. Some sort of oddity waking me up at an extremely early hour isn’t that strange. In training, our household roosters woke me up almost every day at 4 AM and I took it in stride and went with it. It usually takes a lot for me to get worked up. It’s kind of a necessary personality trait to survive here/in Peace Corps life. The thing that got to me was that, this is supposed to be my home, my place to escape Thai craziness when it got to be too much and here it was, literally pounding through my closed-door and windows. I had absolutely nowhere to go and escape except inside my own head. I defiantly played the Beatles on my headphones full blast and every frustration and anxiety that has been pent-up and covered up by an awkward ‘sure-I-can-accept-this-weird-stuff’ smile came boiling out of me in quite the uncontrollable fashion. I was so angry with everyone (why didn’t they consider how ridiculous this was for me?), the culture that accepts this sort of behavior (in America, if someone was shaking the ground with music that loud, you better believe the cops would be called), and just life in general and it finally got to me.

The good thing though was that it was big release of pressure and it helped me be able to put a non-fake smile on my face for the rest of the day’s events (which was a long ass day, I had to stay at the party until 10pm and that feels really late when you woke up at 4:30 that morning and then again the following morning at the same time).  I’ll be adding a more legit post about the actual happenings of the days, complete with video when I have more time and energy. I’m still in recovering from the ‘making-up’ bpai tiao Thailand and I had yesterday, Part II of this entry.

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2 thoughts on “Part I: 4:36 AM

  1. Hi Erin, I hope you don’t see me as a “Creeper,” but I started reading your blog several weeks ago, after I was told by the PC placement office that I would be going to Asia in January 2012. I am assuming I’ll be going to Thailand and wanted to learn more from current volunteers. Anyway, you sound really cool and funny and I have enjoyed reading about your experiences so far. I really empathize with being tired, overwhelmed and out of control. But you have to keep your spirits up so that we can be BFFs when I arrive next year :). Here’s a link to my blog if you want to know more about me. (I am really not hinky). Best, Kathleen Williams

    http://www.kathleenwilliam.wordpress.com

  2. Kathleen,
    You will most likely, like 99.9% chance be coming to join us here in Thailand as a CBOD volunteer (I read your blog). You’re in good hands. Glad you like the blog, it’s really fantastic to get comments. I looked at your blog and don’t envy the wait you’ve got ahead of you, but don’t worry, I can’t explain how worth it this is. Send me an email with ANY questions you might have, I’ll be more than happy to answer or point you in the direction of answers. Please keep in touch.

    -Erin

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